Nature-Based Therapy: A Family's Journey Into Healing
In this episode of From Peaks to Potential, host Tiffany Silva Herlin, LCSW, sits down with Rivka, a mother whose son graduated from ThreePeaks Ascent, to explore the profound impact of nature based healing. Rivka shares her family’s journey through treatment, the emotional decisions that led them there, and the ongoing work of reintegration and growth. With honesty and wisdom, she highlights the importance of family engagement, the value of educational consultants, and the power of structure during and after treatment. This episode offers real guidance and encouragement for parents navigating the challenges of supporting a struggling teen. Call 435-272-1280 to learn how ThreePeaks Ascent can help your family.
Throughout this podcast, you’ll find real-life experiences of a family dedicated to securing genuine growth through nature based healing for their struggling teenager. If you’re seeking to obtain more solid direction on how further to support your child through mental or behavioral struggles, this episode is going to be a true gem in your healing toolbox. Call us today at 435-272-1280 to speak with an admissions specialist about how ThreePeaks Ascent can help your family.
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Podcast Transcript:
Introduction to Nature Based Therapy
Tiffany: Welcome to our special episode of Nature Based Therapy: A Family's Journey Into Healing. I'm Tiffany Silva Herlin, a licensed clinical social worker who supports families navigating the complex path of treatment and healing.
Today, you'll hear the real story of a family who chose to continue their child’s healing in a nature-based residential program. We’ll explore how they made this decision, what their child experienced, and what life looks like now.
Please remember that this podcast is not a replacement for therapy. Always seek support from a licensed mental health professional for your unique situation.
All right, Rivka, thank you so much for coming today.
Rivka: Thanks for having me.
Tiffany: All the way from Florida.
Rivka: All the way from Florida.
Tiffany: Yeah. A little cooler out here today.
Rivka: It’s kind of nice. It’s really beautiful, and waking up to these mountains is out of control.
Tiffany: Yeah. It’s so beautiful this time of year. So you came at the best time.
Rivka: Yeah.
Tiffany: Well, let’s dive into your story. Let’s talk about what it was like being at ThreePeaks Ascent, and why you chose it.
And for our families listening, maybe they’re at that point where outpatient therapy is no longer working, and being at home isn’t an option. They need safety and stabilization for their child. How do they know where to go next?
Rivka: I’d be remiss if I didn’t talk about having an ED consultant. I think when it comes to navigating the programs—figuring out which one is right for your child—knowing when it’s time to remove the child from the house, when the family needs that level of intervention… I encourage any family contemplating this to get an ED consultant.
Their role is really to understand your family, your needs, how your family needs to heal. Every move we made was with the involvement and support of our ED consultant—and of course, everyone involved in the treatment of our child.
Tiffany: Can I pause real quick? For our listeners, an educational consultant, like you said, is someone that you hire who helps guide you through this journey.
Their whole role and profession is to understand these programs—they know what they specialize in, who the therapists are, and who they work best with. So when a family like yours comes to them and says, “Here’s my son, here’s what’s going on,” they can say, “Here are some programs to look at.”
Rivka: They also pre-screen the child’s eligibility. They might present the child to many programs—some might wait, some might pass on the opportunity to work with our precious child.
It’s nice for the family. One, their job is like a matchmaker. And two, they're prescreening. So by the time options are presented to us, those programs have already preliminarily said, “Yes, we’re interested.” They’ve seen his chart, they’ve seen his history, and they’re prepared to meet with us, get to know us, and move forward.
Every move we made was with the assistance of our ED consultant. We got to ThreePeaks a little bit non-traditionally.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Transitioning to Nature-Based Programs
Rivka: Our child had spent time in inpatient and residential treatment before going to a nature-based program. He had learned a tremendous amount—probably could’ve written the books himself—but he hadn’t yet made that internal shift.
He hadn’t yet truly decided to become the change. He needed something deeper. So he went from residential treatment to ThreePeaks Ascent, and the change was remarkable.
Tiffany: And for our listeners—your child may not be in that same place—but if you're someone with a child in residential treatment who just isn’t making the progress you hoped for, sometimes a reset, a reboot, through a nature-based program can really be a turning point.
Rivka: What’s unique about nature-based programs is that they can be helpful at any stage.
Tiffany: Yes, absolutely.
Rivka: It gives the child a full reboot. Just the disconnect from electronics alone is huge. There’s no light pollution—
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: —there’s actual darkness. We were just talking about it on the way over here, how essential darkness is to our natural rhythms—our life cycle, our daily cycle.I had never heard him talk so seriously about that before. He really values true darkness. He sleeps in pitch black now. We always knew he preferred that, but now it’s intentional.
There’s also no noise pollution. The only sounds he heard were from nature. At night, maybe a few animals moving around—but other than that, complete silence. He once said he could hear sounds from an army base two states over. That’s how clear and quiet the environment was—free of all the usual urban noise.
We can’t underestimate what happens when a child disconnects from the constant disruptions and distractions of everyday life.
Tiffany: Absolutely.
Rivka: And every nature-based program is different, but at ThreePeaks, the kids prepare their own food.They get different ingredients with each food drop, so they have to adapt to what they have. They’re expected to eat three meals a day and meet certain nutrition goals, so independence just naturally develops.
Whether they want to or not—they have to eat. And there’s only so much you can do with raw lentils.
That need to figure things out on his own really built a sense of independence.
To this day, he’s completely self-sufficient. He regularly takes over the kitchen. If there’s no food ready, it doesn’t throw him off. Most kids ask, “What’s for breakfast?”—he just goes and makes breakfast.
They also learn to live with very little. All the kids have the same few pieces of clothing, the same shoes, the same boots. And there’s a simplicity they’re all expected to accept, which is really beautiful.
One of the other things that happens—because all the children are working with just a few pieces of clothing, and they’re all the same—is that there’s just a lower level of maintenance required from him in general.
He doesn’t need the brand names anymore. He doesn’t even look for the comfort he used to want. He used to be really sensory—he didn’t like certain jeans or specific fabrics. But now he’s just so simple in that regard, and it’s really beautiful. We have three other kids who are not that simple.
I think there’s something really elemental that happens in that space. When all the distractions are stripped away, what they’re left with is their relationship with themselves—and their relationship with their peers. And there’s a lot of supervision.
What’s so impressive is the adults who are willing to live under those same conditions.
Tiffany: It does take a special person to work out in the field.
Rivka: It’s unreal. They go out there for a week at a time, and they’re just as committed. They also have to cook their own food, wear the same few pieces of clothing, and live without all the usual comforts.
It’s incredible to experience this little community of people—completely disconnected from our daily humdrum—who are wholly focused on themselves and their connections. Connections to self, and to others.
Making a Personal Commitment to Change
Rivka: I think it was that space that finally allowed our son to make the leap and say, “I’m done with the back and forth. I just need to do it. It’s time.” And the transition for him was relatively quick, because he had already learned so much over the past few years—he was just finally able to adopt it.
When I think about what it might’ve been like if we’d done the nature-based program at the very beginning, I think it would’ve acted like a palate cleanse—clearing out all the static from daily life. It would’ve created more space for him to connect with himself, to reflect, and to evaluate the relationships—or lack of them—in his life.
Most importantly, it helped him find himself. That was the critical piece: connecting with who he is. He was able to look inward, figure out what he liked or didn’t like about himself, and start making decisions about who he wanted to be. And I don’t think there’s ever a bad time for that. But I imagine starting the healing journey with that kind of space is probably pretty magical.
Tiffany: As a therapist who’s worked with kids coming into residential treatment from a place like ThreePeaks Ascent—or any nature-based program—it really is just that.
It jumpstarts the process. Like you said, it gives them a chance to let go of distractions, ground themselves, and center more easily and more quickly. It helps move the therapy forward. Kids who come in from that environment are usually more ready to engage. There’s less resistance, less fight.
Nature-based therapy, especially for kids who are defiant or oppositional, is incredibly effective. You take away all the distractions—all the power struggles—and what I like to call the “white rabbits” that parents end up chasing.
It becomes just the child and nature. The staff and therapist are there to support them, but you can’t fight with nature.
Rivka: You’re really just fighting yourself.
Tiffany: Right. That’s what it comes down to.
Rivka: If you don’t cook your meal, you’re hungry. If you don’t bathe, then you’re dirty—you live with your own stench.
It’s just...
Tiffany: Yeah, there are natural consequences at play.
Rivka: In the most basic, honest ways.
Tiffany: And of course, the program is set up to keep kids completely safe. Always. They’re not going to let a child go hungry or be in any danger. But there is an intentional space for letting natural consequences play out—to a certain point—so the kids can learn from them.
Rivka: And let’s address that, in case someone’s worried about their child going hungry. I can only speak for ThreePeaks Ascent and how they do it, but if a child doesn’t prepare their own meal, they’ll still be provided one. But then they’ll get what they call a “meh” consequence. They’ll lose other privileges.
Tiffany: Okay.
Rivka: So your child’s not going to go without food.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: They will lose other privileges, though. For example, my child—this wasn’t related to food—but he was destroying property in the bathhouse at one point, so he lost privileges for several days until he could earn them back. The consequences are as basic and elemental as they come. We’re talking about things like a toilet or a shower.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: And the children gain such a concrete understanding from that—without needing a ton of explanation.
We spend so much time using words, trying to talk things through, but I would say a nature-based program is more about actions, experiences, and acceptance. There’s just less noise.
Even in residential treatment, there’s still school, laptops for academic work, and lots of other things that can get in the way—like laundry.
Tiffany: Yeah. Yes, exactly.
Rivka: In wilderness or nature-based programs, they bag the laundry, send it back to base, and it gets returned. So the kids aren’t even doing laundry. They’re just focused on surviving.
Tiffany: Which is therapy in itself—as a therapist, I can say that.
Rivka: Incredible.
Tiffany: One thing I noticed while working at a residential treatment center is that those first couple of phone calls between a child and their parents are usually filled with requests.
“Hey Mom, can you send me this?”
“Hey Dad, I miss that.”
“How’s my friend doing?”
Or, “Can you send me candy?”
And it’s often like, no, you really don’t need that candy.
Or, “I want this soda, I need those new shoes.”
And as a therapist, I’d have to step in and remind them—your parents aren’t an ATM. Let’s work on rebuilding that relationship, not just placing demands.
All of that is stripped away in a nature-based program like ThreePeaks Ascent.
Rivka: Yeah, and like you mentioned, the phone calls are really different. There was so much more sharing about experiences—talking about spindles, different types of wood, trees and bushes I’d never even heard of. I couldn’t retain half of it, but it was fascinating.
That’s what he wanted to talk about—what he was learning and observing. There were no demands, no asking for things, no “oxygen being sucked out of the room.” It was just him sharing. Like, “I built this kind of fire,” or “I figured out that if you use this wood instead of that one, it burns differently.”
Real discoveries.
The Unique Structure of Nature Based Programs
Rivka: There was just a simplicity to the way information was exchanged. I think that’s what stood out most about the nature-based program—the simplicity. It's probably the most unique aspect compared to any other option out there for our kids.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: And I think it’s also worth noting that ThreePeaks Ascent kept the group really small. There were a lot of adults, and not that many children.
Tiffany: So there's high supervision.
Rivka: Right—high supervision, but also high accessibility to adults who provide stability. Of course, kids will connect differently with different adults, but having a variety of staff with them makes a difference.
There are the field guides out there with them all week, but also people regularly coming out from base—like the therapist, the nurse, the nurse practitioner for meds, even the program director. I didn’t even know the kids interacted with him until I found out he’d gone out to visit them on site. That’s over an hour’s drive from the Enterprise base, and yet the children knew him—and knew other admin staff by name.
So hearing that my child knew Darcy, knew Steve—it was remarkable. It really showed me how much effort the treatment team made to go to the kids where they were, instead of expecting them to come out of the cocoon they were living in. That bubble—the one they got to live in—it was so beautifully void of all our usual noise.
Tiffany: Let’s talk about why a family might choose a nature-based program—and how they even know when it’s time for that next step.
Because it’s a scary decision for a parent to make. One you’ve had to make yourself.
Rivka: Yeah. I think the first question is: When do you start contemplating something outside the home?
Tiffany: Right.
Rivka: For me, it’s when you’ve truly exhausted everything you can. My mom once said, “You know it’s time when you can’t take one more day.” But it’s not just about what you can handle.
In a family system, safety has to stay front and center—for everyone. So even if one parent feels like, “I could do one more day,” you have to evaluate the impact on everyone else in the home.
Especially when there are other children, you have to ask: When is the system unsafe? And at that point, you just know. When you realize that you can no longer keep the home emotionally or physically safe for every single person in the family—that’s when it’s time.
Tiffany: Yes. And like you said—not just physical safety, but emotional safety, too.
Rivka: One hundred percent.
Tiffany: Because it is traumatic. Often, the family is in crisis when you hit that point where you're like, we’re just surviving. And yeah, you said, “Can’t take one more day.”
Rivka: Right. And I think as soon as one person in the family feels like they can’t take one more day—that’s your sign. That’s the day it was supposed to happen.
Then it’s about getting a consultant, getting the right support system in place.
I leaned really hard on our existing providers at home—his therapist, his psychiatrist, the educational consultant. Even though our current team was essentially transitioning out, handing off to someone in a more acute environment—they were phenomenal.
So I would say to families: Don’t cut them off just yet. Use them to help with the transition. They’ll also be instrumental in giving reports to the new provider so that all the critical pieces are carried over—what your child’s worked on, what they’ve resisted, what they’ve needed most. Because when you're in crisis mode, you’re flooded. You might not remember all the things to tell the new therapist or program.
So the more people you involve who know your child, the better that handoff will be. And I implore families to tell the truth.
Tiffany: A hundred percent.
Rivka: I know—it’s embarrassing. There’s shame, there’s grief, there’s a mourning process. But I would say: Set it aside. You’ll have time to process and breathe once your child is placed.
In the meantime, do everyone a favor—especially your child—and just tell the truth. If your child is aggressive, say how aggressive. If they’re depressed and not eating, say how long it’s been and what it takes to get them to eat.
You’re not helping anyone by telling a version of the story that isn’t accurate.
Tiffany: You’re just prolonging the inevitable. It’s all going to come out eventually, and honestly, it just makes treatment take longer—for everyone.
Rivka: Right. And you might even end up sending your child to the wrong place.
Tiffany: Absolutely.
Rivka: So laying out all the facts—being honest—is critical.
Tiffany: And if the program doesn’t have the full picture, then it’s no longer a safe environment for your child—or for others in the program.
Rivka: Exactly. There’s a moment when you just know. For me, I’ll never forget that moment. It was as critical as any I’ve ever experienced as a parent. It was clear: I’ve maxed out. I’ve done everything I can. None of us are safe anymore.
Now, for another family, it might not be so obvious. But in hindsight, I can see there were earlier moments that should’ve clued me in—and I got in my own way. I was so determined to create a healing environment at home.
We even separated him and basically created a day hospital in our own house.
And it didn’t work. It wasn’t healthy for our family. It wasn’t healthy for him. And it certainly wasn’t healthy for me.
Finding the Right Treatment Program
Rivka: So in hindsight, there were definitely earlier moments I wish I had paid more attention to. Once we made the decision, it took about seven days to get him into the right program.
At that point, your educational consultant is presenting your child to programs, and it’s important to know—some of them are going to say no. Especially if there’s aggression involved. And that’s okay. Different programs have different specialties. A program that focuses on sexual trauma might not be the right place for a child with severe substance abuse, and vice versa.
You have to find the right fit. And that takes a moment.
During that time, safety has to be the top priority. Everything else just sort of... pauses. Some of the kids went to school, some didn’t. Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you who was where. Our whole focus was keeping everyone safe.
My brother actually came to help—he’s a big guy—and just having the right support and manpower in place made it possible to get through those few days. And then—once you’ve made the decision, the program accepts your child, you’ve accepted the placement, you’ve connected with the team—trust it.
There’s usually some kind of intake or interview process, depending on your child’s state of mind. Mine wasn’t in a place where he could engage, but some kids are.
Tiffany: Some might even tour the program, willingly. And some—if they knew it was coming—would try to run or find a way out of it.Yeah. It just depends on the kid.
Rivka: Exactly. But once you’ve made that choice, go all in.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: I think moms, maybe more than dads—but honestly, we probably all have some level of buyer’s remorse. That voice in your head asking, “Did I make the right decision?”
But once you’ve made it—move forward.
Trust the system.
Trust the program.
Trust the people who are guiding you.
You’ll have time to process your own feelings, I promise. But in that moment, the most important thing is your child’s safety and healing.
Transportation Experience, Uniformity and Equality in Treatment
Rivka: I really encourage families—once you’ve made the decision—stay focused on getting your child to safety. Just get them to the program.
We handled some transitions ourselves, but others we did with transport services, and they were amazing. My son actually speaks very highly of the experience.
The only thing they took away were his shoes, just to make sure he couldn’t run. But he was fed every few hours, offered bathroom breaks at most service stations—they were really respectful the entire time.
Tiffany: So he wasn’t traumatized by the transportation at all?
Rivka: Not even a little. They let him pick the music genre. They were engaging, funny, and came prepared.
He’s obsessed with sports, so they had clearly been briefed—they were ready to talk all about it. They joked, shared current events. It was a seven-hour drive, and he said they talked the entire time.
Tiffany: That almost sounds like a fun road trip.
Rivka: That’s exactly what he said. By the time he got to ThreePeaks Ascent, he wasn’t a ball of nerves. He had really accepted that this was happening—and that this was where he needed to be.
Tiffany: A lot of transport staff are really well-trained at guiding kids emotionally during that transition. They’re not therapists, but they’re skilled at helping kids process what’s happening.
Like, “This is your chance. Take it seriously.”
Rivka: Totally. And they often come from really interesting backgrounds—military, law enforcement—things that kids find intriguing and respectable. I’ve heard this over and over again from families and kids. That transition is not the source of trauma.
If anything, it was a contained, safe space. Those men understood what was going on. My son felt heard and supported.
Now from the parent side—after you hand off your child, you feel this overwhelming darkness. You think, “Are they feeling what I’m feeling?” And for us, the answer was no. Our son felt okay. He was on his way.
Once he arrived, he was checked in. And they send kids out to base with nothing but the clothes they’re wearing. That’s it.
Tiffany: Oh wow.
Rivka: Yep. Their home clothes get boxed up and stored at base. Every kid gets the same standard gear—same shirt, pants, boots, shoes, clogs. And that does something really important: It levels the playing field.
Tiffany: It doesn’t matter where you came from. Your background, your family’s income, your story...
Rivka: Exactly. No one has anything “better” than anyone else. So there’s no point in competing or complaining.
As they progress, they can earn small privileges—like a foldable camp chair they can use on logs around the fire. But early on, the simplicity of the environment is what creates that emotional reset.
It’s like a pressure release valve. But some kids don’t embrace it right away, right? Some buck the system. My son actually loved it at first. He dove in enthusiastically. Now—don’t worry—he made sure to show them exactly who he was in the weeks that followed! But in those early days, he adjusted quickly.
Some kids come in hot. They try to get kicked out. And what parents really need to know is: Your kid didn’t suddenly lose their ability to manipulate just because they got dropped off in the wilderness. They’re still master manipulators. You may feel guilt, or start second-guessing yourself—especially if your child starts feeding you stories to push your buttons. But trust the process. The staff has seen it all.
Tiffany: Your son even said during the podcast we did with him, "We are good at what we do." Just remember—that was our goal, and that’s how we got here.
Rivka: They’re going to tell you exactly what they need to tell you. Yeah. They might say, "I don't have food." You're right—they have raw food, and they need to cook it themselves. They might say, "I don't have water." Yeah, they have to go to the well, pump the water, and fill the bladder bag. They're hiking, they're experiencing these phenomenal spaces, and they’re learning how to make fire. They're learning how to do really basic things.
And yeah, they have to clean their own pot. So if they burn their food, they have to deal with what’s at the bottom of that pot. They clean it—because otherwise, how are they going to cook tomorrow morning? These are real-life skills your child is going to talk about in a way that sounds like—
Tiffany: Yeah, absolutely.
Rivka: —all hell has broken loose. But remember: they’re in a really safe, clean space. It’s probably the purest space your child will ever experience. And it’s where they’ll hopefully find their own voice and their sense of self.
So I always encourage parents—even if you have a strong reaction to what you're hearing from your kid, don’t direct that at them. If you have questions, call the program.
I was not an absentee parent.
Parental Involvement and the Family's Role in the Healing Process
Rivka: I was in touch with everybody, all the time—probably to the point of being a nuisance. But I didn’t cloud or crowd my child’s experience. I didn’t do that to him, with him, or in front of him. I did that with everyone else. I wanted to know: what did his blood work show?
He had diabetes, so I needed to know what was happening. I wanted the breakdown. I asked for copies of the labs. I wanted all the details—but not with or in front of my child. So ask all your questions. Stay connected to the team. The more you engage with them, the more confidence you’ll have.
It’s completely normal to miss your child or to feel a deep longing to be with them. This process can feel long. Time works differently on this journey—it’s not clearly defined. Once your child realizes that time is shaped by their willingness to participate and change, it begins to move more quickly.
Early on, though, it can feel painfully slow. The unknown is hard for everyone. Your child might be trying to figure out, “How do I get kicked out and go home?” while you’re thinking, “How long is this going to last? What am I in? What did I just sign up for?”
Tiffany: Yeah. And also, how do I hold all these new boundaries that I’m maybe not used to holding?
Rivka: Exactly. That’s a major shift. I would say to every parent on this journey: welcome—because you’re here for life.
Tiffany: If you’re in the right place.
Rivka: Right. This is a safe space, but it comes with hard work for everyone involved. Your child is about to face the most challenging work they’ve ever done—and so are you.
For the family system to truly heal, and for the program to work, everyone has to be fully engaged. I see parents as the leaders of this system. Even though it’s hard to accept that certain patterns or dysfunctions may have started with us—or continued because of us—we still have a responsibility to change them.
This process isn’t just about your child. I love the analogy of a puzzle piece.
Tiffany: Oh yes.
Rivka: Your child is one puzzle piece. When you send them to a program, they start to change shape. But if the rest of the puzzle at home stays the same, they’ll have no choice but to return to their old shape just to fit back in.
That’s the key—the whole system has to grow along with them. All of us have contributed in some way to what’s working or not working. We need to do our own healing, learn new skills, and take ownership of boundaries—not just setting them, but consistently holding them.
We also have to support our other children, who might be navigating their own pain or even struggling with feelings of hopelessness. For parents, there’s a lot happening—especially when the program is far from home. For us, it was across the country.
Meanwhile, the home system is still active and often struggling. The sooner parents embrace that this is their journey too, the sooner real change begins to take shape. That’s when you start seeing the pieces come together.
I mentioned earlier that your child controls how fast time moves, based on their willingness to participate. But we play a role too.
This isn’t like taking your car to the mechanic, dropping it off, and picking it up when it’s fixed.
Tiffany: Hope they did it right.
Rivka: Yeah. But this isn't that kind of situation—this is a process and a program that involves everyone.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: Your child is learning skills and boundaries, and so are you.
Tiffany: What does that process look like for the parents? How are they involved? What was it like for your family?
Rivka: At ThreePeaks Ascent, since it's a shorter program, your involvement mainly comes through weekly therapy calls. Like I said before, reach out if you have questions. If something isn’t clear or you need more time with the administrative team, ask for it.
It’s a distance-based experience. You’ll have that weekly Zoom call, but there aren’t in-person sessions like some longer-term programs offer. In residential programs, especially the ones that run for several months, you often get to visit, attend parent weekends, or participate in on-campus seminars.
Every program is structured a little differently. For the nature-based model at ThreePeaks Ascent, everything happens remotely. One thing I always emphasize to parents is this: you get one hour a week with your child. Take that hour seriously.
Bring the version of yourself that you want your child to see. Set aside the time—don’t be driving, don’t be multitasking. Make it work within your schedule. Maybe it's your lunch hour and you have to lock yourself in the supply closet—whatever it takes. Create space for that call so you can show up fully and really engage in the family session.
You want your child to take it seriously, so you have to lead by example. And honestly, showing up in that way helps you absorb what’s being taught.
They’ll recommend books—and when they do, take them seriously. These aren't casual suggestions; they’re essential. The books they assign are directly tied to the process and written from real experience. One book that came up at every single program we went through was The Parallel Process. It’s so good, so readable, and still something I refer back to. Even now, there are moments—something triggers a past memory or reaction—and I’ll pick it back up and think, “Okay, we’re not going back there.”
Tiffany: Yeah, that's normal. That’s just part of parenting—especially when things get really hard, which they will for everyone at some point.
Rivka: Oh yeah. This is not an easy process.
Engagement and Communication with Children in Treatment
Tiffany: No.
Rivka: It’s going to take as long as your family needs it to—but the sooner everyone plugs in, the sooner you’ll start seeing progress.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: And with that progress comes more success. It builds on itself.
Tiffany: Absolutely.
Rivka: Most kids don’t just go to one program and then head home. There’s usually a transition into another level of care. Even then, the success of residential treatment depends heavily on the pace of both the child and the family.
You might have a child who’s doing really well, but if the parents are disconnected or checked out, then who are they going home to? What kind of environment are they returning to? There has to be a vessel in place for that child to reenter—and that only exists if the whole family is engaged.
Tiffany: I love that. I love your advocacy for parents to show up 100%, just like they expect their child to. It’s about the whole system. Everyone—parents, step-parents, whoever’s involved—has to be in it together. It’s not, “Go fix my kid and send him home.” That mindset just doesn’t work.
And I love that you pointed out the contact parents get at ThreePeaks Ascent. Some nature-based programs don’t allow that, but here, you get that phone call each week.
Rivka: Yeah.
Tiffany: So it’s not—
Rivka: It’s on Zoom.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: You actually get to see your kid- which is nice.
Tiffany: Which is so nice—to see that they’re safe, that they’re okay. How they’re doing. That visual connection really helps ease some of the fear or anxiety that parents naturally feel.
Rivka: Exactly. It’s also kind of amazing how much of their reality comes through, even over Zoom. The kids are living fully in nature.
Tiffany: Dirt. Lots of dirt. For anyone who hasn’t been to Southern Utah—it is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen. I didn’t grow up camping or doing the outdoorsy thing, but going out there made me want to be more connected to it.
It’s absolutely gorgeous—but yeah, it’s dusty.
Rivka: They’re surrounded by mountains they’ll eventually challenge themselves to climb. So even the landscape has built-in goals. It’s inspiring to hear your child checking things off, accomplishing things out there.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: My son became a master fire-starter. That was very cool to see.
Tiffany: Did he struggle at first being in nature, or did he take to it right away?
Rivka: He loved it.
Tiffany: Okay.
Rivka: He embraced all of it.
Tiffany: Which isn’t always the case, right?
Rivka: Correct. You’ll get some kids who are like, “This is amazing. I never have to shower again!” And then others are like, “Wait—where are my bougie soaps?”
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: Some are totally freaked out by it.
Tiffany: “There’s no cell service?!”
Rivka: No phone.
Tiffany: “I can’t live without it!”
Rivka: Even the Zoom calls don’t always have great signal. Sometimes it’s splotchy, especially when it’s raining or overcast. So you take what you can get. But even through the spotty connection, you still get to vicariously experience that nature-based reality.
And if your child is struggling with it, just remember—they’re safe. They have what they need. They might be uncomfortable, but that discomfort is what will help them reconnect with themselves. That’s why you sent them.
Tiffany: Well, growth doesn’t happen in comfort. They need to be uncomfortable. There has to be a disruption in the pattern. That discomfort is what allows them to grow, to reconnect with themselves, and to truly begin healing.
Was it hard being so far away from them? Because I think some parents, when they're at that crossroads—realizing home isn’t working—they want to send their child somewhere close by. The idea of sending them across the country, or even just a few states away, can feel really scary.
Rivka: Yeah.
Tiffany: So what helped you make that decision?
Rivka: I think triaging and setting clear priorities is critical in this whole process. There are going to be many things that feel uncomfortable. The distance felt enormous—a four, no, five-hour flight for us. It was a lot. But we made safety our number one priority. It was so far above everything else that anything in second place barely registered. If we were going to go through all this—bringing in so many people, spending significant time, money, energy—then we wanted to make sure it was the right program.
To me, proximity was irrelevant. You’re not going to be visiting your child weekly. You may not even see them monthly. So does it matter whether it’s a one-hour flight or a five-hour one? What matters is that they’re where they need to be.
Each program has a particular focus—and that focus isn’t negotiable. If your child has experienced sexual trauma, they need to be in a program specifically designed for that. If they’re struggling with addiction, or aggression, same thing. The program must match the child’s needs.
Choosing based on convenience—on how close the facility is—could land your child in the wrong environment. Not only could that delay progress, it could cause further trauma or harm.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: For me, it was easier to accept. I just settled into the reality: if he was a plane ride away, the length of the ride didn’t really matter. What mattered was that he was at the right place.
When you prioritize something like distance over safety and fit, you may find yourself constantly second-guessing. “Why is he there?” That kind of doubt will eat at your ability to stay engaged.
So make safety your non-negotiable, and a lot of the noise fades away.
And remember—this isn’t just about your child’s safety. It’s about the safety of everyone in the family. You know that show The Weakest Link? A family system is only as safe as its least safe member.
Safety is more than just physical. It’s emotional, mental, psychological. Survival alone isn’t enough—we can’t live in that place long-term. Our brains break down in survival mode. So if anyone in the family is still just surviving, you’re not actually safe yet.
The sooner we break that down and accept it, the sooner we can align around our true priorities. And keep going back to those.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: Write it down if you need to. So when you start feeling anxious—“I can’t believe he’s two time zones away”—go back to your list. Yes, it’s hard. But he’s safe. He’s where he can thrive. Everyone is safer because of this choice.
And yeah, in hindsight it’s easier to say—but seriously, write it down. Put it on your fridge. Put it on your t-shirt. Whatever helps you hold onto it.
Tiffany: Agreed. Time does matter, but it’s not the focus. If you start prioritizing convenience or proximity over what your child truly needs, you’re actually making the process longer for everyone.
It gets more emotionally draining, more expensive, more complicated. So trust the process. It may not be in-state, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
And for our listeners—I just want to say, a place like ThreePeaks Ascent is a great place to start. While your family’s path didn’t begin there, most families do start at a place like that.
Therapeutic Approaches at ThreePeaks Ascent
Tiffany: When your child is no longer really benefiting from traditional talk therapy, they need more than just conversation—they need experience. They need grounding. They need space away from distractions. And especially if they’re struggling with defiance or constant power struggles, this kind of setting helps them engage more quickly with the next phase of their healing.
Rivka, what was therapy like at ThreePeaks Ascent?
Rivka: There were dedicated therapy days, and then there were days focused on therapeutic skills. I’m forgetting the exact terms they used, but one type involved emotional and interpersonal work, while the other focused on practical life skills.
They had to work on things like building fires and other wilderness tasks—hands-on skills connected to living in nature. Therapy was woven throughout. For us, sessions were an hour long, and the frequency and depth matched the intensity of the work we were doing at the time.
There were also assignments—both for him and for us. He had a notebook with daily work, and we had writing and reading assignments between sessions too.
Honestly, it became a three-year journey of introspection for our entire family. This kind of work is deeply systemic. If you want to get everything you can out of the experience, you have to go all in. It’s not just about helping your child—it's about growing yourself. I became a better mom, a better wife, a better professional, and I treat myself better as a result of this process. I know my child in ways that many parents never get to.
Our family communicates on levels I don’t think we would’ve ever reached without going through this very complicated, layered journey. We had to unpack ourselves and our family system. We had to learn vulnerability and how connection only comes when you allow yourself to be vulnerable.
So, it’s really an all-inclusive experience. But you can’t force every family member to jump in at the same time. Each person—each sibling—has to arrive at it in their own way. That said, it’s critical that the parents dive in. You have to show up—for your child, for yourself, and for your partner. That’s how you grow into a connected, resilient family—one where relationships are fulfilling and everyone has the potential to thrive.
Tiffany: Yes, absolutely. I love how you emphasized that it’s not just about the child. Even though the child is in treatment and there’s physical distance, and maybe some spotty wifi, ThreePeaks Ascent still requires the whole family to show up—especially the parents.
Rivka: You’re also writing to your child.
Tiffany: Oh, absolutely, yeah.
Rivka: Some programs still require good old-fashioned snail mail—actual letters in the mailbox. At ThreePeaks Ascent, it’s done by email. I liked to handwrite my letters, then scan and email them to the therapist. They’d get delivered the next time the therapist went out or with the next food drop.
It made a difference—there’s something more personal, more intimate, about receiving a handwritten note. Sometimes my nieces and nephews would draw pictures, and I’d include those too.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: They’ll print all kinds of stuff for the kids. That kind of connection is so different than a quick text. It’s more thoughtful—and it builds real connection.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: It’s not instant gratification. I’d write a letter, and my child might not get it for two days—and then it could take another two days before he responded.
One thing I figured out was that while he loved receiving letters, he wasn’t always motivated to write back. So I started including a question in every letter. And I told him, “Until I get an answer to that question, I’m not sending another one.”
Trust and believe those letters started coming.
Even that—just learning how to create a give-and-take relationship—was powerful for both of us.
Tiffany: Absolutely.
Let’s pause here to share a few of the parent satisfaction stats we’ve gathered from ThreePeaks Ascent. I think they really reflect everything you've been describing.
95% of adolescents reported being satisfied with the quality of treatment they received. And 97% of them said they experienced significant improvement as a result of completing the program.
Now let’s look at the parents. 93% of parents said they were satisfied with the treatment their family received, and 91% reported that their child’s problems had improved since entering the program.
So everything you’ve been sharing—about feeling safe, engaged, supported—those are exactly the outcomes we’re seeing in the data too.
Now, let’s shift gears. Your child has completed the program—what is life like now that he’s home?
Life After Treatment: Transitioning Home
Rivka: Amazing. Surreal.
It’s not perfect—coming home still involves a lot of structure. Regular therapy, clear expectations—all day long: structure, structure, structure. But for us, it's about being able to enjoy our entire family system in a way we never even aimed for. Our life used to be so chaotic. I’m not sure I ever even had a vision of what it would be like to have all four of our adult children under one roof again.
We all came together for his high school graduation—and it was magical. Days of togetherness, with different experiences and different levels of connection. But it all came together. The connection in our home was almost palpable. And honestly, just for that—every minute, every dollar—it was worth it. Watching our children connect with themselves and with each other... to see them thriving, navigating young adulthood with confidence and self-pride—it’s everything.
And it’s not lost on me or my husband that this required courage on our part too. We had to be vulnerable. We had to be honest—with our children and with ourselves. We had to be willing to evolve. And what we’ve built now, this transparency and connection—it’s priceless.
Tiffany: Yeah. True connection comes from vulnerability. And it had been years since you’d all been under one roof, right?
Rivka: Since before COVID.
Tiffany: Oh my goodness. So not only did your son graduate– you had all your kids in the same house– what a special moment. Probably something you hadn’t even imagined when you started this journey, right?
Rivka: No, not at all. It wasn’t until a few months before the graduation that it even felt like a real possibility. He was meeting all the requirements, and the kids were coming home at different times—but it just never aligned before. All their college schedules were different.
So when we realized that weekend would be the first time we were all together again... there was a lot of excitement—but also anxiety.
Tiffany: Absolutely.
Rivka: Like, “What if this clashes?” or “What if this doesn’t work?” But we trusted each other—and really, our kids. They’re amazing humans who’ve all done a lot of work to get here.
All I can say to other families is: take the leap. Dive in. It is better. It can be safe. It can be a thriving environment for everyone.
That’s hard to see when you’re deep in the chaos and the crisis—but it’s there.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: Reach out to the professionals. Trust them. Trust the program you choose. And then engage—all day long, engage.
Tiffany: What did you do to help prepare him to come home? And what did you do to prepare your family?
Rivka: We engaged a program called Wonder Plus—they offer wraparound services. With guidance from our ED consultant, we interviewed a few options and ultimately chose them.
We had their support for several months: our son had his own coach, we had a parent coach, and there were family sessions. He met with his coach about three times a week in the beginning, and he had text access to him too. We met with our coach weekly and could also reach her by text. They helped us negotiate our family contract and navigate issues that came up early on. Because even with a contract, there are always unknowns—and having that support helped us manage the transition.
The nice thing about Wonder Plus is that there’s no set timeline. You use the service until you feel done. And eventually, we just found ourselves not needing the meetings anymore. That’s when we knew—we were ready.
We also had everything lined up before he came home. Within the first week, he met his new therapist, psychiatrist, and primary care doctor. Those first few weeks back—after nearly three years—were busy. It was all about setting up the new normal.
Tiffany: Yeah. It’s about creating your own system at home.
Rivka: Yeah.
Tiffany: And building support.
Rivka: Absolutely. And I’d say that’s probably the most critical thing—don’t take your foot off that pedal.
Continuing Care and Support Post-Treatment
Rivka: The breathing, the sitting back and enjoying it—that doesn’t happen the moment your child comes home. It’s a few months later. You need to keep up with everything your child has been doing—physical activity, academics, mental health, physical health.
We had to go back to braces, right? All the things that were put on hold because they didn’t rank on the hierarchy of needs—those had to be resumed. And of course, continuing the care. Continuity of care is probably the most important part. That’s how you help your child feel safe during the transition and support them in creating their identity within the family again.
Tiffany: It really sounds like you’ve done the right things to set him up for a successful transition home. And that’s such a tricky process for parents—there’s anxiety, fears, a need to reset the family system, establish new boundaries, prepare the home. And of course, the child is often anxious too. There’s fear of failure.
Rivka: And there will be failures. There will be challenges.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: And that’s when we get to use our toolbox. When things don’t go smoothly, how do we respond? Do we fall back into old habits and conflict patterns, or do we use the tools we’ve learned to navigate differently?
Most programs have trial periods, right? So you’ll start with visits—maybe just a few hours—and then move to overnights. Many will let the family test the waters and gradually increase visit length and intensity. Maybe a short in-state overnight, and then eventually a few days at home.
Use those visits. Take them seriously. If your child earns one, prioritize it. Sometimes their next step might feel disruptive—or maybe it actually is—but it’s still critical. You've invested so much in this journey. Stay committed, even when it’s not convenient, because when everyone is all in, you don’t want to lose momentum or cut it off short.
Tiffany: Yeah. And you don’t want it to feel like a vacation either. The goal is to make it feel as close as possible to what home life will really be like. That might not be perfectly realistic, but there should still be structure:
“We’re getting up at this time.”
“I still have to go to work.”
“What are you going to do during the day?”
There have to be expectations. The visit should be a test run, not a free-for-all.
Rivka: Exactly. And the programs are usually very supportive of that.
Tiffany: Yeah.
Rivka: There’s a lot of structure in place for those transitions.
Tiffany: Absolutely.
Rivka: So again—trust the system. If the contract says the child can't touch electronics... don't break the rules. Don’t be part of the problem. Just go with it. Even if you don’t think it’s a big deal for them to call their grandma.
I mean, we took it seriously. He wasn’t allowed to touch electronics. So if we did a FaceTime with my mom, I held the phone or set it down. We followed the rules to a T—because once you start blurring those lines, you risk compromising a whole lot of what you've invested in.
Tiffany: Absolutely. What is one thing you wish you had known when you first started this journey?
Rivka: How long and involved the process would be. It wouldn’t have changed what I did. I was going to do whatever it took to help my child through this and to help our family find safety again.
But I had no idea how long and all-encompassing it would be—or how long I would live a life that felt like half my body was in another state. It truly felt like a limb of mine was somewhere else.
If I’d known this could be a multi-year journey, maybe my expectations would’ve been more aligned. I think there’s this idea that you send your kid away and a few weeks later they come back "fixed"—but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
We don’t become new people in a few weeks. This process demands full involvement, deep investment, and a whole lot of courage—from everyone.
Tiffany: I feel like what you just shared really aligns with what you’d want another family to know if they're just beginning this process. But is there anything else you’d want to share with our listeners who are considering residential treatment—especially a nature-based program?
Rivka: It’s really worth it. It’s scary—terrifying, actually. And I think so many parents draw a bright line they’re unwilling to cross: “I’m not sending my kid away.”
It feels like failure. But the real failure is when you can’t provide safety to your family. That’s the crisis. That’s when you must act. And I encourage parents: find the grit. Find the courage. Invest in your family.
This has probably been the greatest gift I’ve ever given mine.
Tiffany: I love your vulnerability. Your honesty. It takes so much courage to share your story like this, and I just really appreciate your willingness to do that here today.
Your passion is palpable. I’ve worked with a lot of families—wonderful families—and I wish more came into programs with the kind of "110% all-in" attitude that you had. It doesn’t necessarily make the process easier—but it does make it more fulfilling. Not just for the child, but for the whole family.
Thank you so much, Rivka, for coming on the podcast and giving our listeners hope—that even though this is a hard place to be, and a difficult journey, there is healing on the other side.
The Unique Journey of Healing
Rivka: It really is. Thank you for having me.
Tiffany: To our listeners—thank you for joining us today.
Remember, every family’s journey is unique, and healing takes time. If you’re considering next steps for your child, we hope Rivka’s story offered you both clarity and hope.
If you'd like to learn more about ThreePeaks Ascent, you can visit ThreePeaksTreatment.com.
Thank you again for listening.